Saturday, October 2, 2010

to my arch nemesis

I admit I haven't been doing my daily pushups lately, unless you count the bicep curl motion it takes to transport fries, chocolate, and sour patch kids into my mouth. I need to cut this crap out unless I want to let my King-of-Sparta physique go. After a month of Keysi Fighting Method, I can totally pass for Leonidas' doppelganger, I swear, or at least the understudy of his third cousin in an off-off-Broadway play.

(This. is. AGENTINGGGG!)

Though as a disclaimer, I must tell you that as a little girl of nine, I never hunted wolves in the frozen tundra.

I hunted with wolves, b*tches!

(This is me and Grendel in a victory hug after scaring the bejeezus out of a squirrel.)

(This is Grendel wearing a hat made of said squirrel after it died of natural causes.)

But you know, hunting was just the first step of my training. Saturday morning I've got KFM again, the most efficient fighting style out there--which makes sense since it's the street version of Jeet Kune Do, and we all know Bruce Lee's the man. Years ago, I used to look up Jeet Kune Do moves on our dialup connection and practice punching the door in our basement (the door won). BUT LOOK AT ME NOW--I needed to buy new shirts today because my muscles were just bursting through.

But really. I should stop talking about KFM here on teh interwebs. My arch nemesis could be stalking my page as we speak, in search of my weaknesses or vulnerabilities. Joke's on him though, because I DON'T HAVE ANY! moo ooh ooh ah ah ah.

Well, unless you count sad stories.

Despite my rippling, veiny exterior, inside I'm actually really a mush. Sure, I love happy stories--the memory of which will keep me giddy and mushy for the next 3 months.

But a tragedy, that's my kryptonite.

Those stories will break my heart over and over for the next 10 years. It's just ohh so close but aghh why can't he just make it home in time to save his wife and son before the legion rapes/burns/hangs them both?! why'd he have to turn around and take an arrow to the heel at the last freakin second?! why can't she just get past his pedophilia and see the broken--albeit, old--lover within?!***

Maybe it's just me, but I think tragedies haunt us, lasting longer in the heart and mind than happy endings.

SO, ARCH NEMESIS. If you really want to break me down, why don't you send me an awesome query, followed by an awesomely tragic manuscript--yea, yea you do that!

I'm by the slush pile. Waiting. With my Kleenex.

What about you? What's your weakness when it comes to books?
***(bonus points if you guess my top three favorite films/novels)


laughingwolf October 2, 2010 at 9:50 AM  

seems a young'un needs must quit worrying so much over things beyond her control ;) lol

welcome to wuffydom ,btw :)

Shrinky October 2, 2010 at 10:11 AM  

You sound waaay scarier than that there wolf, pictured (even tho' you look like butter doesn't melt in your mouth)! But if you like eating misery, mayhem and the odd wry chuckle in the books you devour - I'm your girl..

Samantha Bennett October 2, 2010 at 3:15 PM  

I like your moo ooh ah ah ah. Very sinister. Very funny. Hmmm... my weakness when it comes to book is a classic quest. Love me a good Odyssey-esque story. :)

Myrna Foster October 2, 2010 at 6:05 PM  

Ah, but books are my weakness. Just wave a great story under my nose, and I'm lost. One of my sisters tried to enroll me in a 12-step program a few years ago for my reading addiction. I refused to go.

Sharon K. Mayhew October 2, 2010 at 11:08 PM  

Weaknesses when it comes to books...I get sucked in by survival stories. I can't put them down. Teens that are in abusive situations and come out on top of some cruddy abusive evil adult is another winner for me...

(smile) I started kick boxing again this week...LOL, I couldn't move on Wednesday...

Have a great Sunday!

JJ October 2, 2010 at 11:27 PM  

Let's see, are your favourite movies:

1. Gladiator
2. Troy
3. Lolita (Adrian Lyne, not Stanley Kubrick)?

Richard Levangie October 3, 2010 at 5:56 PM  

My first MR novel — I'm getting ready to send it to beta-readers this month — has a wistful, bittersweet ending (I think). Maybe I get misty when I read the ending because I've managed to survive 20 years of debilitating pain, and I didn't always think that I would (And really, I handle pain better than anyone this side of the Klingons).

I'm hoping my story ends well.

Jackee October 4, 2010 at 4:48 PM  

Oh, I love Grendel! He/she looks like my Kodi (I have two Sib. Huskies).

Sad stories do last on my memory, but I hate to be sad. I hate to cry or ache for someone. I'm weak for books about prison breaks (think Monte Cristo, Airman, and Megan Whalen Turner). Very specific, I know, but totally disproves my hate of sad stories. :o)

And the only movie I recognize is The Gladiator. Sad!

Happy Monday, Judith!

Carolyn V. October 5, 2010 at 8:36 PM  

My weakness is anything with action or tension. I just eat it up! But a good tragedy is good too. Like Dr. Horrible. That was epic. =)

Shelley Watters October 7, 2010 at 3:18 PM  

1. Gladiator
2. Troy
3. Not sure?

Troy is in my top 3 too. Have you seen Tristan & Isolde? I love it. But I recommend watching it with a Costco-size box of kleenex.

Jude October 7, 2010 at 4:52 PM  


1. Gladiator

2. Iliad novel, not the film Troy. I'm always down to see Brad Pitt galavanting on the screen, but the book was so much richer. Oh Achilles!

3. Lolita the fire in my loins Lo-lee-ta! :)